Dear John Krasinski,
You make me laugh every week in The Office. Oh, how I love your well-timed eyebrow raises, your joshing dork-charm, your floppy hair. Because you are my TV boyfriend, I have vowed to support you in your career. If (when) we get married, my last name won’t even sound that different.
But John, I cannot support your first major motion picture, License to Wed. Robin Williams? And not dark One Hour Photo Robin Williams, or paternal Good Will Hunting Robin Williams, or even inspirational Dead Poets Society Robin Williams! We’re talking Patch Adams Robin Williams! RV Robin Williams! Dear Lord, John, have you seen Bicentennial Man? Or -- *gasps, dry heaves* -- Flubber???!!!
Now I know Mandy Moore is really pretty. And I know that being in a rom-com will pay the bills and maybe land you a nicer, better part, perhaps a buddy-cop movie, or a Serious Drama. But you’re better than this, John. You deserve better. (Incidentally, I forgot the title and had to look it up on IMDB, which should tell you something. I was also going to re-watch the trailer to get more fodder for this post, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. In fact, I don’t know that I need to. That image of you dancing ridonkulously as well as the terrifying eyes of the fake twin babies will be burned into my consciousness for weeks.) In the future, and for the sake of our relationship, please stay away from the Krapinski.
Luv,
Faith
You make me laugh every week in The Office. Oh, how I love your well-timed eyebrow raises, your joshing dork-charm, your floppy hair. Because you are my TV boyfriend, I have vowed to support you in your career. If (when) we get married, my last name won’t even sound that different.
But John, I cannot support your first major motion picture, License to Wed. Robin Williams? And not dark One Hour Photo Robin Williams, or paternal Good Will Hunting Robin Williams, or even inspirational Dead Poets Society Robin Williams! We’re talking Patch Adams Robin Williams! RV Robin Williams! Dear Lord, John, have you seen Bicentennial Man? Or -- *gasps, dry heaves* -- Flubber???!!!
Now I know Mandy Moore is really pretty. And I know that being in a rom-com will pay the bills and maybe land you a nicer, better part, perhaps a buddy-cop movie, or a Serious Drama. But you’re better than this, John. You deserve better. (Incidentally, I forgot the title and had to look it up on IMDB, which should tell you something. I was also going to re-watch the trailer to get more fodder for this post, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. In fact, I don’t know that I need to. That image of you dancing ridonkulously as well as the terrifying eyes of the fake twin babies will be burned into my consciousness for weeks.) In the future, and for the sake of our relationship, please stay away from the Krapinski.
Luv,
Faith
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