People that have been irritating me lately

1. People that complain about the price of stamps. The United States Postal Service is the best friggin deal around. What if I showed up on your doorstep and told you that for 41 cents – forty-one cents! – I will PERSONALLY DELIVER your belated Christmas card to your Aunt Josephine in Tulsa. Yes, it may take two days, and yes I may bend the corners slightly, but it will get there. You would do a happy dance and tell your neighbors – then you would tell me I’m crazy. What else can you buy for 41 cents!? Even the quarter machines outside WalMart now charge at least two quarters for the metal snake ring that turns your finger green.
2. People who are on my favorite stairclimber at the gym and aren’t even using it properly. You’re not supposed to hunch over! This places too much stress on your shoulders! At least if you’re going to make my day more difficult, do it with proper spinal alignment!
3. People who think they are saving the environment by buying a Prius. You know what saves the environment and is free? WALKING. Don’t tell me you’re saving the environment if you’re just trying to be trendy.
4. People who Prefer “Film” over Television. If someone told you they were a “film” buff, able to clean out entire Jeopardy categories like “The Talkies” and “Cinema,” what would you think about them? Now, what if someone told you that they watch 30 hours of TV a week? I’ve had a problem recently with people judging me because I like TV. No, maybe I LOVE TV. I’d like to clarify: I don’t like According to Jim, or Will and Grace, or The Hills. I like smart shows, like Buffy, Studio 60, The Office, Veronica Mars, 24, Freaks and Geeks, and most recently HBO’s Carnivale. And yet I am judged. I firmly believe television is becoming a superior art form to movies. First, the extended time period of television allows you to become closer to the characters, to become more involved in the storylines, and to create allegiances to the idea of the show. (It is this kind of loyalty that makes people (me included) line up to see garbage like Spider-man 3.) Television is like one sequel after another! Buffy can explore a hundred themes because it has seven years to do so – a movie barely has two hours. And now in an age of Tivo and DVD and streaming video, television has lost all of its past inconveniences. (And I’d still rather save up to buy a series on DVD than pay outrageous movie ticket prices – AND I can’t watch the movie again or sell it on Amazon if I get bored with it. Television also doesn’t need the kind of commercial success of film (although it doesn’t hurt). Even shows with little to no commercial success typically get to stick around for a good 20 episodes or so, whereas movies rarely see a green light without endless rounds of audience testing.
5. People who don’t realize the dangers associated with being a small female. I was recently denied full funding for a travel grant because I didn’t share a hotel room. Apparently, I was supposed to find a stranger and lock myself in a strange hotel room with them for two days to cut costs. Don’t even get me started on poorly lit sidewalks or entire campuses with few emergency phones.
6. People who don’t stop for me in crosswalks. Please, let me get out of YOUR way.